puppy love...

my friend ron and his bulldogs, canon digital rebel xti

I am so in love with my friend, Ron's puppies. He got two bulldogs after his other bulldog passed away a few months ago. He named them Winston and Churchill. They are the sweetest little guys. I wanted to hijack them but I don't think Denver would have appreciated it.

happy 91st...

my grandmother, pauline and her sister, Bernice, canon digital rebel xti

My grandma is 91. It's hard to believe. She has lost a lot of weight since I took this picture. She is actually so proud that she weighs less now than when she was in her 20's. In fact, she is careful about everything she eats because she doesn't want to weigh more than 120. I have her genes and now I have pretty much resigned myself to not seeing the 120s again until I am 90!

One more amazing tidbit is that my Grandma has an aunt who is 96 that is still living and in good health. She had a face lift at 95. Can you imagine still being able to call up your aunt when you are in your 90's?

absence...

my niece caitlin and her popsicles, canon digital rebel xti

fireworks, canon digital rebel xti

my brother ryan, my nephew griffin and sister-in-law, judy, canon digital rebel xti

I have been absent for awhile. I have not been feeling well and haven't felt like sharing much lately. It has been good to put my focus on others. I finally got my Etsy shop up and have two photographs for sale. I will continue to add other photographs this week. I spent some time at the lake recently. The above shots are from the holiday. I bought my nephew, Griffin a three man raft to ride behind the boat. We all felt like kids again riding that raft. We got bounced around like rag dolls but had lots of laughs.

where the buffalo roam...

baby buffalo, Fremont, Indiana, canon digital rebel xti

I went to the most amazing place this weekend near the cottage at the lake... A 400 acre buffalo preserve. It was truly spectacular to see these creatures roaming around in Southeastern Indiana in the middle of nowhere. Many babies were born over the last several weeks. You can see two of them in the photo above.
I got to spend lots of time with my Dad in spite of the fact that I am still very sick. I drug him to some garage sales and he found more stuff than I did. I picked up some additional retro pyrex dishes to add to my collection. I know I shouldn't buy anymore but I can't resist. It's like I can't just walk by a piece and not buy it especially for $.50.

a cold in 90 degree heat...

denver with his favorite pontoon and frisbee, Lake Diane, canon digital rebel xti

I have managed to come down with a horrible cold accompanied by the worst sore throat I have ever had in my life. I can thank one of two co-workers for this lovely gift.

I finally opened my Etsy store tonight. I only have the banner created thus far. I will have some items to share/sell next week. I will mostly be selling my photographs but may decide to throw in the latest jewelry or knitted creation.

I am headed to the lake tomorrow evening to spend some time with my family. I plan to do some strawberry picking while I am there. Too bad the strawberry season is so short :-)

hot weekend

grand canal, Venice, canon digital rebel xti

So it has been steamy the last couple of days in central Ohio. I hate humidity. Last night, Bryan finally got me to go to Perkins Observatory to go planet gazing. I got to see Saturn, the moon and a double star. I have to say it was pretty cool to see the rings around Saturn. Today, I went to an auction where I saw someone pay $2,000 for a signed first edition book. Needless to say, I was impressed when the buyer told me he was going to sell is for $5,000. Auctions are both good and bad... It makes me sad that after someone passes there life is on display and people go through their things like greedy vultures. But on the other hand you can really appreciate the life they lived and the things they were passionate about. This estate was full of books and paintings. This gentleman also loved to travel and spent a lot of time in Italy. He was especially found of Venice. I really dug that about him. It moved me so much that I had to buy two of his paintings of the Grand Canal.

trials...

rigel's windmill, canon digital rebel xti

Great faith must first endure great trials...

Over the past five years of my illness, I have read and re-read the above statement. I am still waiting for the great trial to end and the great faith to begin.

For now I can only live for the day and try not to think of the past or the future. When I catch myself thinking about the past, I get sucked into the black hole of depression and it usually takes me days to snap out of it.

I live for the pleasure of the little things... a day without a headache, a day for myself, seeing an old friend, scoring a great find, passing time where I forget I have an illness.

cosmo anyone?

smoking cosmo, lori's camera phone

My girlfriend and I saw Sex and The City last night or I should say very early this morning. I didn't get home until 3:30 AM. We had an awesome night. In honor of the movie, we had to have a Cosmo and the bartender even put some dry ice in it to give it some extra pizazz. It bubbled and smoked for a good 20 minutes. We couldn't stop watching the special effects. We had a leisurely dinner and then dessert and then coffee....... Finally the movie started and soon as they played the opening theme song, everyone was screaming their heads off. Yes, there were many men there in case you were wondering. Most looked like they were drug there by their significant other. I heard one gentlemen tell his wife, "You, so owe me for this one"! I bet she does...

catch up...

the lake cottage, canon digital rebel xti

I have not been feeling well the past week so I have not had the energy to post anything interesting. I thought I would catch you up on the past week. I finally finished the round trip sweater (it doesn't look as amazing as I thought it would). I went to the lake this weekend to spend some time with my mom. My dad was only able to join us one day (boo!). He farms 1200 acres with my uncle and it was planting time. Yes, I am a daddy's girl. I still managed to have a great time with my Mom. Lots of shopping, garage sales and the world's largest flea market. I was in three states in one day (Ohio, Michigan and Indiana). We spent all of our money on needless crap. We spent all of our petty cash and thought we may have to use our debit card at the toll booth on the drive home. Luckily, I shook my purse and some coins fell out :-). I have been taking a long break from working out because my body just can't take it. My joints and muscles feel like I am 90 years old thanks to my chronic illness that I loathe. And speaking of being old... my mom and I have this discussion over the weekend while at the flea market...

Me: Hey, Mom are you going to buy grandma a new outfit for her goose outside?
Mom: (Laughing)No, your grandpa hit the goose with the mower and the head fell off.
Me: What? Did she junk it?
Mom: No, she still has it outside and she changed it's clothes.
Me: Without a head?
Mom: Yep.
Me: Doesn't grandma think that is morbid? Is grandpa going to buy her a new one?
Mom: I don't know.
Me: Crap, I new I was going to regret not bringing my camera home

green enough...

the emerald grotto, amalfi coast, canon digital rebel xti

He would rather live anywhere but here
She grew up there and loves her family
He has no family ties and thinks that life would be better far way
She finds happiness in everyday things
He does not find happiness in much
She had a life defining experience
He can not understand this world
She has many friends and likes to do for others
He likes to keep to himself and enjoys personal solace
She longs for hugs and needs him to be present now
He does not pick up on her feelings
She wants to be a mom
He does not know if parenthood is in the cards
She lives in the moment
He believes that if he only had a different job, lived in a new state... the grass would be greener
She thinks the grass is green enough

the whole day just for me...

crackling fire, canon digital rebel xti

This weekend my husband went to Chicago for work so Denver and I were home alone. I decided to plan a very selfish day just for me. I slept in until 11 AM and then I had a nice leisurely lunch. I then decided that I desperately needed a new haircut and some highlights. I was feeling very spontaneous so I decided to risk a new salon. I was a walk in (something I swore never to do). They told me that John would be able to fit me right in. I thought to myself... is it a bad thing that someone could fit me right it? Did someone not show? Was it my lucky day? Did this guy suck at cutting hair?

When John appeared, the little voice inside my head was saying "Flee!", "Get the heck out of dodge!" I felt ill. John had to be the oldest male hairdresser I have ever seen. He also looked like he just rolled out of bed (like me) and that he had been out all night on a bender. I was extremely hesitant but the polite vein in me wouldn't allow me to lie and say that UM... I AM SORRY BUT I THINK I HAVE FOOD POISONING, I GOT TO RUN. LATER, DUDE!

I told John that I wanted a trim, highlights and bangs and kept my fingers crossed. Everything he did freaked me out from the way he kept checking my highlights under the dryer to the way he dried my hair. I was expecting to look in the mirror and see the Bride of Frankenstein but instead was pleasantly surprised by what I saw. I have to say this might be the best haircut I have ever had :-) Just goes to show you can't judge a book by its cover.

I topped off the day with a manicure/pedicure, chick flicks and a crackling fire. The best part is my husband wasn't here to make me feel guilty or see the bill!

round trip...

Noro Round Trip Sweater, canon digital rebel xti

I am almost finished with my Round Trip Sweater. I started this shrug type sweater almost two years ago when I first learned how to knit. I learned to knit from my wonderful friend, Andrea. This was the first project I started after many, many scarves. The problem with knitting is that there are so many projects that you want to do that you end up starting on multiple projects. Getting around to finishing any of them has been my challenge. I can't wait to be able to wear this in the fall. Another couple of days and I should be finished.

paradise...

bird of paradise, canon digital rebel xti

What is paradise? For me it encompasses the following:

Finding happiness, even if for only a moment
Traveling to new places
Laughter of friends, family and myself
Truly helping someone else in need
Eating something wonderful
Engrossing myself in a movie (in order to forget my reality)
Seeing life through the lens of a child
Knitting and cooking when I can sneak a few minutes
Being on the water
Having a family to lean on
Snuggling with my golden retriever
Faith in something bigger

Everyday is truly a gift, find a little "paradise" in your life today.

happy mother's day...

my family, canon digital rebel xti

I love you mom! I got the pleasure of spending this weekend with my family. It was a dual celebration... mother's day and my brother's graduation day for his MBA.

Thanks for all that you have done for me mom and our family. We wouldn't be who we are today without your guidance and love :-)

introducing pedro telluz...

A few months ago I received a brochure at church regarding Compassion International. It talked about children in need all over the world including the US. I decided what the heck, I would add this to all my other charitable endeavors and sign up. I marked that I would accept any child no matter the country or age. This week in the mail, I was informed that I would be sponsoring Pedro. Pedro is fourteen and from Bolivia. He likes cars and group games. He wants me to send him lots of photos, stickers, writing tablets and pictures from magazines. How sweet is that? I will be Pedro's sponsor until he graduates from high school. I have committed to write letters, provide financial relief and encourage him for the next four years. Pedro you are one lucky little guy! You are going to be so spoiled!

forgetting how old I am...

VanHalen ticket stub, canon digital rebel xti

Are there things that you do in life that reminds you of your youth (80s music, reruns of the love boat)? I have been having a lot of flashbacks about events in my life lately.
A friend of mine asked me to go to the VanHalen concert the other night, and I accepted. I was like is it Sammy or David Lee? I was a Sammy fan people but unfortunately if I wanted to see Eddie, I was going to have to tolerate Mr. Roth. All the songs reminded me of high school parties and cruising around with my friends and ex-boyfriends. Do you remember the Jump video? And I used to think that was the coolest video ever on mtv.
Well let me tell you, David Lee Roth has had some serious plastic surgery even to his chest (I swear). He is still full of himself, parades around the stage, still foul and acting as if he still is the chick magnet of the century. Personally, I was grossed out but it was very entertaining. It also made me forget how old I was for two hours and reminded me of a time when I never worried about my health :-). As you can see from the ticket stub, no cameras were allowed so the best I could do was take a lame picture of the stub. I wish I would have had my high powered zoom lens so you could see the fake chest!

Panama!

back from baja...

me at the shrimp stand Ensenada, Mexico, canon digital rebel xti

beach scene, La Mision, Mexico, canon digital rebel xti

I am back from Mexico. I was able to shut everything off on this trip which was really good for me. I ate whatever I wanted, took a break from excercising, stayed up late, slept in and listened to the ocean everyday. Does it get any better?

It was fun to laugh and drink margaritas. I ended up getting sick the last day probably from the mexican shrimp cocktail I had from the street vendor in Ensenada. I knew better but it was soooo good. It's amazing how fresh food and the smell of the ocean mixed with sunshine can make you feel well.

Spring fever...

sweet bay magonolia bloom, canon digital rebel xti

I admit I have terrible spring fever. Everything is in bloom here in Columbus, Ohio despite the fact that it snowed yesterday morning! I am heading out of town tomorrow with some work girl pals to sunny San Diego and then off to La Mission, Mexico. I am looking forward to just relaxing on the beach for a few days... no workouts, no knitting, no work, no email, no nothing!

I don't have a sister so these trips are great for me. I will have three surrogate sisters for the trip. Sometimes you just need to cry, purge, and laugh until it hurts. I am sure I will be doing both.

two steps forward, three steps back...

Michael Angelo steps, Florence, Italy, canon digital rebel xti

I have been really struggling lately... I feel like just as I move forward something happens and I fall down the steps. I am battling excruciating headaches again and I fear my lumbar shunt is not working any longer. I hate to think about going under the knife yet again. I just want to scream. I keep telling myself this too shall pass but even I am doubting whether I will ever get this illness under control for the long haul. I feel that it has ruined my life in so many ways. I have already lost so much... friendships, being a mother, relationships, promotions, lack of focus, and a general withdraw from others.

Recently I was reading Susannah's blog and her latest post resonated with me. It is hard for me to be around "normal" people. It's hard for me to connect with them when they are healthy, happy, etc. I see people having babies or in a phenomenal relationship with lots of love and although I am happy for them, I am very sad for me.

I just need to pull it together and get past this latest set back. I wish I could be "normal" again. I wish someone could put me back together and that I could be the person I once was so long ago.

My obsessions...

a fraction of my cookbook collection, canon digital rebel xti

I haven't posted in awhile due to my latest obsession, working out. I am one of those personalities that does nothing half ass. When I make up my mind, I am all in if you know what I mean. I don't like working out but I am sick of being fat and sluggish so for now I will press on. I never knew how much time you really had to put in when you are trying to lose a mere two pounds a week. I work out for 60 minutes twice a week with a trainer and then I do 3 - 4 hours of cardio on my own (YUCK)! It leaves me little time for the other obsessive fibers of my life (photography, cooking, knitting, designing jewelry, sewing rad curtains, eating, reading blogs, etc).

I also find as I get older that I collect and hoard weird items. Growing up I hated the way my grandma decorated. She had every prized collection displayed proudly throughout her house. We are talking glass clowns, gone with the wind plates, sound of music plates, norman rockwell plates, red glass, fenton glass, pink glass, blue glass, etc. I swore I was never going to be a collector.

Although I do not have any collections displayed anywhere in my house I do have large quantities of the following stashed away:

Retro Pyrex (Every color and pattern that exists)
Retro Tupperware (Avocado green, orange, yellow, and brown)
Playing Cards
Collecting cookbooks (Vintage and new)

All of the above started out by inheriting from family members and then it grew from there. I find myself stopping at an occasional garage sale in the summer looking for the rare piece I may not have. Every once in awhile I get lucky and it makes my day :-)